1 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,315 - I love movies so much, 2 00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,230 but some movies are more than movies. 3 00:00:13,361 --> 00:00:14,362 You know, they become a part of you. 4 00:00:14,492 --> 00:00:18,148 And for me, that's "Forrest Gump." 5 00:00:18,279 --> 00:00:19,410 I mean, I think if I could be anybody, 6 00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:20,542 I'd want to be Forrest. 7 00:00:20,672 --> 00:00:21,499 I just love the guy. 8 00:00:21,630 --> 00:00:23,023 He's pure. 9 00:00:23,153 --> 00:00:25,329 He's funny. He's thoughtful. 10 00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:26,504 He's historically important. 11 00:00:26,635 --> 00:00:28,071 [thud] 12 00:00:28,202 --> 00:00:30,334 And, I mean, his relationship with his mother, 13 00:00:30,465 --> 00:00:33,946 that scene at her bedside when he's like, 14 00:00:34,077 --> 00:00:36,166 "Mama, what's my destiny?" 15 00:00:36,297 --> 00:00:37,646 [thud] - [groaning] 16 00:00:37,776 --> 00:00:39,865 - And she says, "Forrest, 17 00:00:39,996 --> 00:00:41,389 you got to find that out for yourself." 18 00:00:41,519 --> 00:00:42,912 It-- [thud] 19 00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,479 It just kills me, you know. 20 00:00:44,609 --> 00:00:46,524 - [coughing] 21 00:00:46,655 --> 00:00:47,438 [groaning] 22 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:50,224 Excuse me. 23 00:00:50,354 --> 00:00:53,488 [sighs] 24 00:00:53,618 --> 00:00:56,099 - [groaning] 25 00:00:56,230 --> 00:00:58,145 [flesh squelching] [muffled screaming] 26 00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:01,235 - [grunting] 27 00:01:01,365 --> 00:01:02,932 [sighs] 28 00:01:03,063 --> 00:01:05,456 Sorry about that. 29 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:06,979 What was I saying? 30 00:01:07,110 --> 00:01:09,895 [eerie music] 31 00:01:10,026 --> 00:01:16,946 ♪ 32 00:01:39,229 --> 00:01:41,753 [footsteps crunching lightly] 33 00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,112 Oh, hello. 34 00:01:58,901 --> 00:02:02,209 [whistling] 35 00:02:25,884 --> 00:02:28,365 [rustling] 36 00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:01,398 [thud] 37 00:03:10,581 --> 00:03:13,541 [both screaming] 38 00:03:17,371 --> 00:03:19,677 - Gotcha. [laughs] 39 00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:21,549 You got to see your face. Give me that. 40 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:22,898 Give me that. 41 00:03:23,028 --> 00:03:25,074 - Mom! 42 00:03:25,204 --> 00:03:27,381 - Wolfie. - Stop. 43 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:29,121 - Oh. - Cut it out! 44 00:03:29,252 --> 00:03:30,775 - Get inside. 45 00:03:43,440 --> 00:03:45,660 Open sesame. 46 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:56,758 [imitates rumbling] 47 00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:58,499 Mayday! Mayday! 48 00:03:58,629 --> 00:04:00,414 Pilot to tower, we have an emergency landing-- 49 00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:01,589 - It's not an airplane, Mom. - Coming in. 50 00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:02,807 - No, there's not an airplane. 51 00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:03,939 No, there's not. 52 00:04:04,069 --> 00:04:05,375 - What is up with you? 53 00:04:05,506 --> 00:04:06,724 Why are you so grumpy? - I'm not grumpy. 54 00:04:06,855 --> 00:04:09,727 I don't like you filming me. Give me my camera. 55 00:04:09,858 --> 00:04:11,947 - I have been filming you since you were pooping your pants. 56 00:04:12,077 --> 00:04:12,730 This is not your camera. 57 00:04:12,861 --> 00:04:14,602 It is my camera. 58 00:04:14,732 --> 00:04:15,907 - It is basically my camera at this point. 59 00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:18,345 - I lent it to you. 60 00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:22,827 What is the matter with you now? 61 00:04:22,957 --> 00:04:24,089 Why are you so grumpy? 62 00:04:24,220 --> 00:04:26,091 - I am not grumpy, Mom. 63 00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:27,963 I can become grumpy if you would like 64 00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:31,532 to keep calling me grumpy. 65 00:04:31,662 --> 00:04:36,798 - [sighs] Well, did have a surprise for you. 66 00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:39,582 - No, no, we're not doing that. 67 00:04:39,714 --> 00:04:40,715 No. 68 00:04:45,328 --> 00:04:47,199 What? 69 00:04:47,330 --> 00:04:51,029 - I--I may have to take it back. 70 00:04:51,159 --> 00:04:52,727 - What? 71 00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,774 - No peeking. 72 00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:57,993 - Not peeking. 73 00:04:58,123 --> 00:04:59,821 - Stop there. 74 00:04:59,951 --> 00:05:01,562 Surprise. 75 00:05:05,566 --> 00:05:08,177 - Oh, Mom, this is nice. - [chuckles] 76 00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,832 - This is my stuff. 77 00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:13,400 Oh, my posters. 78 00:05:13,530 --> 00:05:14,662 - Hit play. 79 00:05:17,707 --> 00:05:19,057 [Albert Natural's "Sara Loves Her Juicy Fruit"] 80 00:05:19,188 --> 00:05:20,972 - [sighs] 81 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,582 I love this song. 82 00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,976 I love-- 83 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:26,456 oh. 84 00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:28,415 Oh, Mom! 85 00:05:30,634 --> 00:05:31,722 Wolfie? 86 00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:34,246 - Mm-hmm. 87 00:05:34,377 --> 00:05:36,466 - Oh, he smells so good. 88 00:05:40,165 --> 00:05:41,036 Hey, Mom, what happened to Wolfie? 89 00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:42,690 What happened? 90 00:05:42,820 --> 00:05:45,257 - Don't you remember? 91 00:05:45,388 --> 00:05:48,173 When you were about six, 92 00:05:48,304 --> 00:05:50,915 you had a really bad dream one night. 93 00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:53,483 And when you woke up, you had torn his little head off, 94 00:05:53,614 --> 00:05:56,356 and I put it back on for you. 95 00:05:58,662 --> 00:06:00,621 - Why didn't you sew it all the way? 96 00:06:00,751 --> 00:06:02,840 - So you would remember what you did. 97 00:06:02,971 --> 00:06:05,756 ♪ 98 00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,192 - ♪ Sara looked down 99 00:06:07,323 --> 00:06:09,194 ♪ I was beckoned by a smile 100 00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,893 ♪ She grabbed me by the wrist 101 00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,982 - Hey, whose-- whose bed is this? 102 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:16,201 - It's a rented house. 103 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:18,029 - This--this is-- this is not my special bed. 104 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,291 - It came furnished. 105 00:06:19,422 --> 00:06:21,206 - Where are my trophies? 106 00:06:21,337 --> 00:06:25,036 Where--what is--whose hatboxes--whose room is this? 107 00:06:25,167 --> 00:06:26,473 Whose room is this? 108 00:06:26,603 --> 00:06:28,388 - Now you need to just calm down. 109 00:06:28,518 --> 00:06:29,301 We're going to deescalate a little bit. 110 00:06:29,432 --> 00:06:30,259 - No! 111 00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,521 No! 112 00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:33,044 [thud] 113 00:06:35,220 --> 00:06:37,875 - [sighs] 114 00:06:38,006 --> 00:06:45,100 ♪ 115 00:06:45,230 --> 00:06:49,713 I think we have a hungry baby wolf on our hands. 116 00:06:49,844 --> 00:06:52,020 - I'm not hungry. 117 00:06:52,150 --> 00:06:55,589 - This is your mama, and I know what you like. 118 00:06:55,719 --> 00:06:59,897 - ♪ Sara loves her Juicy Fruit ♪ 119 00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:03,901 - Wait, did you make a special trip to the store? 120 00:07:04,032 --> 00:07:05,729 - Silence of the lamb chops. 121 00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:07,514 - ♪ She struts while she chews ♪ 122 00:07:07,644 --> 00:07:08,819 ♪ Nothing there to slow her down ♪ 123 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:10,255 - [laughs] 124 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:12,867 [laughs] - So good. 125 00:07:12,997 --> 00:07:14,434 - Oh, yeah. 126 00:07:14,564 --> 00:07:15,696 - Okay, I was a little hungry. 127 00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,828 - You think? [chuckles] 128 00:07:17,959 --> 00:07:20,135 Okay, so what's up with Wolfie? 129 00:07:20,265 --> 00:07:22,790 - Well, don't be mad. 130 00:07:22,920 --> 00:07:24,922 I might have watched "Forrest Gump" again. 131 00:07:25,053 --> 00:07:26,837 - Oh, honey, that is not a healthy film for you. 132 00:07:26,968 --> 00:07:28,273 - I know, I know. 133 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:29,318 I just love it so much. 134 00:07:29,449 --> 00:07:30,754 And I love Forrest. 135 00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:32,800 He just--he's such a great guy. 136 00:07:32,930 --> 00:07:34,279 He makes friends everywhere he goes. 137 00:07:34,409 --> 00:07:35,803 And I just can't do that. 138 00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,195 You know, I try to make connections. 139 00:07:37,326 --> 00:07:39,241 They end badly. 140 00:07:39,371 --> 00:07:41,199 I kind of feel like a failure. 141 00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,071 - That's a natural feeling. 142 00:07:43,201 --> 00:07:46,204 All you need is a good, old-fashioned Mama Bear 143 00:07:46,335 --> 00:07:49,164 and Wolfie jammy night. 144 00:07:49,294 --> 00:07:50,600 - Just the two of us? 145 00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:53,298 - Just like the good old days. 146 00:07:53,429 --> 00:07:55,170 - Oh, man. 147 00:07:55,300 --> 00:07:57,041 Oh, man. 148 00:07:57,172 --> 00:07:58,216 This is going to be a good night. 149 00:07:58,347 --> 00:08:00,088 Yes. Yes. 150 00:08:00,218 --> 00:08:02,220 - Let's get our jammies on. Watch a trashy film. 151 00:08:02,351 --> 00:08:03,744 [door shuts] - Hey, hon. 152 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:05,920 There's a strange looking car in the-- 153 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:09,097 Oh, oh, hey. 154 00:08:09,227 --> 00:08:11,012 [chuckles] I didn't-- 155 00:08:11,142 --> 00:08:13,623 - Wolfie, this is my friend Albert. 156 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,886 Albert, this is my favorite son, Wolfie. 157 00:08:16,017 --> 00:08:18,541 - Ah, hey, man. 158 00:08:18,672 --> 00:08:20,891 It's good to meet you. 159 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:23,154 Yeah. Yeah. 160 00:08:23,285 --> 00:08:25,505 [both laugh] 161 00:08:25,635 --> 00:08:28,943 Man, I've--I've heard a lot about you, man. 162 00:08:32,686 --> 00:08:34,731 Yeah. - Wolfie? 163 00:08:41,782 --> 00:08:44,219 Honey? 164 00:08:44,349 --> 00:08:46,830 Wolfie? 165 00:08:46,961 --> 00:08:49,267 [door bangs shut] 166 00:08:49,398 --> 00:08:51,356 - Did I-- - [sighs] 167 00:08:54,838 --> 00:08:56,100 Wolfie? 168 00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:05,153 Oh, God. 169 00:09:11,855 --> 00:09:14,641 [sighs] 170 00:09:21,212 --> 00:09:24,302 This is not how we get attention. 171 00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:26,609 [branches cracking] 172 00:09:26,740 --> 00:09:27,784 Hello? 173 00:09:42,407 --> 00:09:47,195 You get out of there. 174 00:09:47,325 --> 00:09:50,067 This is not funny. 175 00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:51,982 Get out of there and come inside 176 00:09:52,113 --> 00:09:54,202 and be nice to my friend. 177 00:09:57,684 --> 00:09:58,946 Wolfie? 178 00:09:59,076 --> 00:10:00,164 7Wolfie? 179 00:10:00,295 --> 00:10:02,950 [both screaming] 180 00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,260 - Gotcha. 181 00:10:14,483 --> 00:10:16,790 There he is, Alberto. 182 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:18,443 - [chuckles] Hey. 183 00:10:18,574 --> 00:10:20,315 - Looking good, man. - Thanks. You too, man. 184 00:10:20,445 --> 00:10:22,491 - Oh, thanks. 185 00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:23,971 Oh, hi, Mom. 186 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,102 - Go and put on a shirt. 187 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:27,104 - Why? 188 00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:29,977 - Because people are going to be trying to eat. 189 00:10:30,107 --> 00:10:32,370 - Bother you if I have dinner shirtless, Albert? 190 00:10:32,501 --> 00:10:34,024 - Oh, it's all good. 191 00:10:34,155 --> 00:10:37,375 Come on. - Albert doesn't mind. 192 00:10:37,506 --> 00:10:41,031 So, Albert, tell me, what do you do for a living? 193 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,990 - Oh, I'm a jack of all trades kind of guy, you know. 194 00:10:43,120 --> 00:10:44,078 Pretty simple. 195 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:46,994 Yeah. Yeah. 196 00:10:47,124 --> 00:10:48,604 - Make good money doing that? - Yeah, I do all right. 197 00:10:48,735 --> 00:10:50,345 - Yeah? 198 00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:51,433 What--what do you-- what do you make in a day, 199 00:10:51,563 --> 00:10:53,087 just out of curiosity? 200 00:10:53,217 --> 00:10:55,393 - Oh, I don't think much about that, you know. 201 00:10:55,524 --> 00:10:58,919 But, hey, what do you do? 202 00:10:59,049 --> 00:11:01,530 - I'm a filmmaker, Albert. 203 00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,053 - Really? - Yeah. 204 00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,577 - Oh, man. 205 00:11:05,708 --> 00:11:08,232 You know... [chuckles] 206 00:11:08,363 --> 00:11:11,409 I always wanted to try my hand at--you know, but-- 207 00:11:11,540 --> 00:11:12,933 - Really? - Yeah. 208 00:11:13,063 --> 00:11:14,195 - Mom, Albert wants to be a filmmaker. 209 00:11:14,325 --> 00:11:15,631 - [chuckles] 210 00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:17,589 - It's interesting because I am often 211 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,069 looking for collaborators. 212 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,071 Pretty high turnover rate in my profession, 213 00:11:21,202 --> 00:11:24,074 and I pay a pretty good rate, Albert. 214 00:11:24,205 --> 00:11:26,294 I actually pay $1,000 a day for someone to come film me. 215 00:11:26,424 --> 00:11:28,949 - Ooh. - Yeah. 216 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,168 I don't know if you're interested in trying it, 217 00:11:31,299 --> 00:11:33,040 but I could--I could teach you. It's not rocket science. 218 00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,519 I mean, I can give you the camera. 219 00:11:34,650 --> 00:11:35,564 I can show you how to do it tonight. 220 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:36,826 - No, no, no, no. Bad idea. 221 00:11:36,957 --> 00:11:40,047 [laughs] 222 00:11:40,177 --> 00:11:41,875 - You guys are cute together. 223 00:11:42,005 --> 00:11:43,615 Look at you guys, little lovebirds. 224 00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:45,182 Little lovebirds. How did you guys meet? 225 00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:46,836 What's the story? I want the meet cute. 226 00:11:46,967 --> 00:11:48,882 Give it to me. - Uh, the classic tale. 227 00:11:49,012 --> 00:11:52,320 You know, she saw an advert I had 228 00:11:52,450 --> 00:11:56,193 posted up in the bulletin board down in the town, you know. 229 00:11:56,324 --> 00:11:59,980 And she had a plumbing issue, and I took care of it. 230 00:12:00,110 --> 00:12:02,852 And one thing led to another, and here we are. 231 00:12:02,983 --> 00:12:04,419 Yeah. 232 00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:05,681 - Great. 233 00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:06,856 - Yeah. 234 00:12:06,987 --> 00:12:08,379 - What thing was that, Albert? 235 00:12:08,510 --> 00:12:09,467 - I'm sorry? 236 00:12:09,598 --> 00:12:11,252 - Wolfie. 237 00:12:11,382 --> 00:12:12,775 - What? I'm just curious. 238 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,298 Albert said one thing led to another. 239 00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:15,473 I'm just curious what the thing was. 240 00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:17,084 - Um... 241 00:12:19,564 --> 00:12:21,828 - You guys are being super awkward right now. 242 00:12:21,958 --> 00:12:24,178 I'm just trying to be included here 243 00:12:24,308 --> 00:12:26,920 and figure out where you guys are at in this relationship. 244 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,878 Okay. I mean, what are we doing? 245 00:12:29,009 --> 00:12:30,837 Are we holding hands? Are we kissing? 246 00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,447 Are we in second base, third base mode? 247 00:12:32,577 --> 00:12:33,840 Are we--wait a minute. 248 00:12:33,970 --> 00:12:35,493 Are we fornicating? 249 00:12:35,624 --> 00:12:36,799 Are we sleeping in the same room? 250 00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:39,846 - No, we're not. 251 00:12:39,976 --> 00:12:41,586 - Not fornicating, huh? 252 00:12:41,717 --> 00:12:43,414 - We're not sleeping in the same room. 253 00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:44,851 I have sleep apnea. 254 00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:47,418 I sleep in the guest room downstairs. 255 00:12:50,857 --> 00:12:54,077 - Well, isn't that interesting. 256 00:12:54,208 --> 00:12:59,604 So Albert sleeps in my room 257 00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,911 in my special bed? 258 00:13:02,042 --> 00:13:04,174 - Oh, so now it's your special bed? 259 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:05,697 - Yes, it is my special bed, Mother. 260 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:07,482 Yes, it is my special bed. 261 00:13:07,612 --> 00:13:08,831 And since it's my bed, I would like to know 262 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:10,311 what happens in my special bed. 263 00:13:10,441 --> 00:13:12,617 - Wolfie. - Oh, don't you Wolfie me. 264 00:13:12,748 --> 00:13:14,054 We tell each other everything, right? 265 00:13:14,184 --> 00:13:16,317 No secrets, Mom. No matter what. 266 00:13:16,447 --> 00:13:18,188 Go ahead. 267 00:13:18,319 --> 00:13:20,930 What--what happens in my special bed? 268 00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:22,671 [silverware clatters] 269 00:13:26,022 --> 00:13:32,202 - Everything happens in your special bed. 270 00:13:32,333 --> 00:13:35,945 You remember when we watched "9 1/2 Weeks" together? 271 00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,947 - Yes. 272 00:13:38,078 --> 00:13:41,690 - I'm living "9 1/2 Weeks" 52 weeks out of the year. 273 00:13:44,954 --> 00:13:46,913 - Well, I think that is wonderful. 274 00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:49,654 And I am very happy for you two. 275 00:13:49,785 --> 00:13:51,352 - So don't ask me anything 276 00:13:51,482 --> 00:13:52,440 about what he does to my breasts. 277 00:13:52,570 --> 00:13:55,486 [laughter] 278 00:13:57,445 --> 00:14:00,491 - Wow. 279 00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,146 Wow. 280 00:14:03,277 --> 00:14:05,192 - What? 281 00:14:05,322 --> 00:14:09,022 - You just crossed the line, and you know it. 282 00:14:09,152 --> 00:14:12,199 Those breasts are sacred to me, 283 00:14:12,329 --> 00:14:13,635 and you're going to whip them out at the table 284 00:14:13,765 --> 00:14:16,203 and wield them as weapons of war against me? 285 00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,031 You're just going to give them away to the first plumber 286 00:14:18,161 --> 00:14:19,162 that comes along? No offense, Albert. 287 00:14:19,293 --> 00:14:21,034 You seem like a really nice guy. 288 00:14:21,164 --> 00:14:22,774 But you breastfed me for six years. 289 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,776 You made me addicted to them. 290 00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,170 Wow, Mom! 291 00:14:27,301 --> 00:14:28,911 Wow! 292 00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:31,435 - What are you even, like, talking about? 293 00:14:31,566 --> 00:14:32,697 I never breastfed you. 294 00:14:32,828 --> 00:14:34,264 - Oh, don't--don't start. 295 00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:35,831 - I never did. You were too aggressive. 296 00:14:35,962 --> 00:14:37,441 - Shut up! Shut up! 297 00:14:37,572 --> 00:14:39,182 - Oh, you were, like, biting and tugging. 298 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,619 You made me bleed, okay? I couldn't breastfeed you. 299 00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,491 I wanted to, but I couldn't, okay? 300 00:14:43,621 --> 00:14:44,971 I'm sorry. 301 00:14:53,283 --> 00:14:57,157 - You know, I noticed that you have a rear-- 302 00:14:57,287 --> 00:15:00,508 right rear axle that's sitting kind of low. 303 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:03,032 You got a jack? 304 00:15:03,163 --> 00:15:04,947 I can probably fix that for you. 305 00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:12,781 - Let's do it, Albert. 306 00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:13,956 - Excellent. 307 00:15:14,087 --> 00:15:15,131 - Let's do it. 308 00:15:23,226 --> 00:15:25,750 Know what's funny, Albert? 309 00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:27,535 - What's that? 310 00:15:27,665 --> 00:15:30,103 - Albert Natural is my favorite band. 311 00:15:30,233 --> 00:15:31,626 And here you are, my new favorite friend, 312 00:15:31,756 --> 00:15:32,975 and your name is Albert. 313 00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:34,455 - Yeah, it's crazy. 314 00:15:34,585 --> 00:15:36,022 - Wait, what are you doing? 315 00:15:36,152 --> 00:15:37,371 - I'm getting the jack out. 316 00:15:40,852 --> 00:15:42,985 - The jack's in the trunk? 317 00:15:43,116 --> 00:15:47,163 - Uh, yeah, it's generally in the trunk. 318 00:15:51,907 --> 00:15:53,039 - Huh. 319 00:15:55,911 --> 00:15:57,478 Okay. 320 00:15:57,608 --> 00:15:59,610 [keys jingling] 321 00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:19,456 Okay, now, you're probably thinking one of three things 322 00:16:19,587 --> 00:16:21,154 right now, Albert. 323 00:16:21,284 --> 00:16:23,025 The first one, you'd like to be true. 324 00:16:23,156 --> 00:16:25,723 But, I mean, let's face it. 325 00:16:25,854 --> 00:16:27,160 We both know we're awake right now. 326 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,988 It's not a dream, okay? 327 00:16:29,118 --> 00:16:30,728 The second thing, you'd really like to be true, 328 00:16:30,859 --> 00:16:33,253 but even the most elaborate of pranks, 329 00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:36,212 they're not this elaborate. 330 00:16:36,343 --> 00:16:41,522 And the third thing is exactly what it is. 331 00:16:41,652 --> 00:16:42,697 But I don't want you to be worried. 332 00:16:42,827 --> 00:16:44,133 It's going to be okay. 333 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:45,700 This isn't the first time it's happened. 334 00:16:45,830 --> 00:16:47,136 It won't be the last. 335 00:16:47,267 --> 00:16:49,008 Okay? 336 00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:50,618 You may have found out about this a little early 337 00:16:50,748 --> 00:16:52,620 in our relationship than I anticipated, 338 00:16:52,750 --> 00:16:56,493 but it's not a bad thing, because if your relationship 339 00:16:56,624 --> 00:17:00,497 with my mother is headed where I think it's headed, 340 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:03,109 you're going to be my new dad, Albert. 341 00:17:03,239 --> 00:17:04,284 And this is going to be something 342 00:17:04,414 --> 00:17:05,546 you're going to need to know-- 343 00:17:05,675 --> 00:17:06,634 Albert, Albert, stay with me. 344 00:17:06,763 --> 00:17:09,332 Hey, hey, right here. 345 00:17:09,463 --> 00:17:10,768 This is one very important thing, okay? 346 00:17:10,898 --> 00:17:13,336 Very important. 347 00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:16,339 Mama Bear cannot know about this. 348 00:17:16,470 --> 00:17:17,297 She is too sensitive. 349 00:17:17,426 --> 00:17:19,212 - Boys. 350 00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:21,518 What--what is going on out here? 351 00:17:21,648 --> 00:17:23,825 - Nothing. 352 00:17:23,954 --> 00:17:25,566 - What's taking so long? 353 00:17:25,695 --> 00:17:28,308 The dessert is ready. It's getting cold. 354 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:31,398 Albert, you want to come in for some cobbler? 355 00:17:31,528 --> 00:17:33,313 - Huh? 356 00:17:33,443 --> 00:17:35,532 - Cobbler. Come on in soon. 357 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:36,359 - Yeah, we'll be right in. 358 00:17:36,490 --> 00:17:38,970 - Okay. 359 00:17:39,101 --> 00:17:41,060 - Love you, Mom. 360 00:17:53,028 --> 00:17:54,377 - Hey, hon. 361 00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:58,207 Hey, hon, I-- I need to talk to you. 362 00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:02,211 - What is wrong, Albert? 363 00:18:02,342 --> 00:18:05,910 - I--I think there's a problem with your son. 364 00:18:06,041 --> 00:18:08,348 - He's a very complicated boy. 365 00:18:08,478 --> 00:18:09,653 - No, no, no. 366 00:18:09,784 --> 00:18:14,571 I mean--I mean, a real problem. 367 00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:17,835 - Well, you know, in fact, he does have a--a tendency 368 00:18:17,966 --> 00:18:21,100 to be just a teensy little bit conflicted about new men 369 00:18:21,230 --> 00:18:22,927 in my life, which is why I didn't tell him 370 00:18:23,058 --> 00:18:25,104 about you up front. 371 00:18:25,234 --> 00:18:29,020 But I think he's now mature enough 372 00:18:29,151 --> 00:18:32,459 to not get confrontational. 373 00:18:34,939 --> 00:18:38,378 - No, no. 374 00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:39,727 You're--you're not hearing me. 375 00:18:39,857 --> 00:18:43,861 I--I think 376 00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,950 your son might have killed someone. 377 00:18:46,081 --> 00:18:48,649 - [laughs] What? 378 00:18:48,779 --> 00:18:50,041 - I opened the trunk to his car and-- 379 00:18:50,172 --> 00:18:51,260 [thud] 380 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,654 [exclaims] 381 00:18:53,784 --> 00:18:55,177 - Wolfie! 382 00:18:55,308 --> 00:18:57,658 What did you do? 383 00:18:57,788 --> 00:18:59,529 I liked him. 384 00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:00,835 - I liked him too. 385 00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:02,315 - Then why did you do that? 386 00:19:02,445 --> 00:19:04,099 - It's complicated. 387 00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:08,886 - It is very, very naughty and messy. 388 00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:11,411 This is on you. 389 00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,891 You're digging this one all by yourself. 390 00:19:14,022 --> 00:19:16,416 That's right, mister. 391 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:17,852 - Fine. I'll dig the hole. 392 00:19:17,982 --> 00:19:18,809 I don't care. 393 00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:26,121 What does this remind you of, Mom? 394 00:19:26,252 --> 00:19:28,515 It's like Forrest and Bubba. 395 00:19:28,645 --> 00:19:30,604 "I gotta find Bubba." 396 00:19:32,649 --> 00:19:35,130 [chain clanking] 397 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:36,349 Maybe a little help here, please? 398 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:37,611 - Nope. 399 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:48,361 - Thank you. 400 00:19:48,491 --> 00:19:51,190 [clanking] 401 00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:56,020 - Chop, chop. 402 00:20:12,385 --> 00:20:14,691 When did you dig this? 403 00:20:14,822 --> 00:20:18,260 - Remember when I said I went to the bathroom earlier? 404 00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,044 I didn't go to the bathroom. 405 00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:24,832 - My naughty, naughty boy. 406 00:20:24,962 --> 00:20:25,920 - You know-- 407 00:20:26,050 --> 00:20:28,096 - [laughs] 408 00:20:31,969 --> 00:20:34,233 - Look, in fairness, 409 00:20:34,363 --> 00:20:35,756 I didn't know jacks are kept in the trunk. 410 00:20:35,886 --> 00:20:37,453 Like, you did all the car stuff. 411 00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:39,020 I didn't--you didn't teach me any of that. 412 00:20:39,150 --> 00:20:40,456 And he was the one who kept insisting 413 00:20:40,587 --> 00:20:41,849 to get in there in the first place. 414 00:20:41,979 --> 00:20:43,633 I wasn't even planning on doing it this early. 415 00:20:43,764 --> 00:20:44,330 - Yeah, but you didn't have to give him the keys. 416 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:45,679 You did not have to do that. 417 00:20:49,726 --> 00:20:50,945 - You know what? You're right. 418 00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:51,989 - Thank you for that. 419 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:55,210 - I'm sorry. 420 00:20:55,341 --> 00:20:57,952 I just--I struggle with the new men. 421 00:20:58,082 --> 00:20:59,127 I always have. 422 00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:01,999 Don't walk away. 423 00:21:02,130 --> 00:21:03,566 Where are you going? 424 00:21:03,697 --> 00:21:05,699 - It's time to say goodbye to my Albert. 425 00:21:11,008 --> 00:21:13,533 L'amour, l'amour. 426 00:21:25,109 --> 00:21:27,677 - Do you remember when I was 10, 427 00:21:27,808 --> 00:21:29,592 and you were trying to get me into that good school, 428 00:21:29,723 --> 00:21:31,246 and they didn't think I was good enough? 429 00:21:31,377 --> 00:21:35,816 And you invited that principal over. 430 00:21:35,946 --> 00:21:39,341 And you served him lamb chops and red wine. 431 00:21:39,472 --> 00:21:41,212 And you told me to go outside and play in the woods 432 00:21:41,343 --> 00:21:42,736 until you came and got me. 433 00:21:45,391 --> 00:21:48,437 I was naughty that night, Mama. 434 00:21:48,568 --> 00:21:51,397 I stayed on the porch. 435 00:21:51,527 --> 00:21:54,400 And I listened. 436 00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:57,620 I heard what you did with that man. 437 00:21:57,751 --> 00:22:02,669 I heard his deep, orgasmic grunting. 438 00:22:02,799 --> 00:22:05,324 [grunting] 439 00:22:08,762 --> 00:22:11,460 I was just a poor Southern boy, 440 00:22:11,591 --> 00:22:14,594 braces on my legs and a substandard IQ. 441 00:22:14,724 --> 00:22:16,204 - Wolfie! - What--what? 442 00:22:16,335 --> 00:22:17,901 - You're doing it again. 443 00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:19,468 - Doing what? - You're misremembering. 444 00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:21,078 That's a scene from "Forrest Gump." 445 00:22:21,209 --> 00:22:22,253 - No, it's not. 446 00:22:22,384 --> 00:22:23,559 - [scoffs] 447 00:22:25,996 --> 00:22:28,999 - Oh, right. 448 00:22:33,656 --> 00:22:35,092 Could it be both, though? 449 00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:37,878 Could it be "Forrest Gump" and us? 450 00:22:38,008 --> 00:22:41,316 - [sighs] Oh, honey. 451 00:22:41,447 --> 00:22:45,059 I'm sorry I never told you about the breastfeeding. 452 00:22:45,189 --> 00:22:46,495 Okay? 453 00:22:46,626 --> 00:22:48,454 I knew how you felt about my girls. 454 00:22:48,584 --> 00:22:50,369 I didn't want to break your little heart. 455 00:22:59,247 --> 00:23:01,467 - You think it's too late for us, Mom? 456 00:23:01,597 --> 00:23:02,990 - I don't know. 457 00:23:03,120 --> 00:23:04,948 We're pretty different kind of people. 458 00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:06,776 We're never going to have a normal life. 459 00:23:06,907 --> 00:23:09,779 - No, not that. I mean... 460 00:23:09,910 --> 00:23:14,349 [breathes deeply] 461 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:16,395 Do you think it's too late for us? 462 00:23:18,484 --> 00:23:21,269 [breathing heavily] 463 00:23:34,848 --> 00:23:37,416 - [humming] 464 00:23:41,376 --> 00:23:44,292 [both humming] 465 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,794 [sinister music] 466 00:24:07,924 --> 00:24:14,104 ♪